Saturday drive to Dugway

Way sucky got tired had to get out to do some jumping jacks to stay awake. Went to Crystal Hot Springs with the kids again. Had a super bad tooth ache had to leave church with the kids in tow. Had a root canal today way fun by the way. Feels like someone used a dewalt drill in my mouth. Jack hammer is more accurate as to how it feels now. Not even the 800 mmgs ibuprofen fully takes away the pain. Cori had her tiger cake for her third birthday. Tara thinks she liked her little animals and dolly the most. Savers toys!, awesome, she doesn't know the difference. Fighting a cold and a cough it is crappy will be looking for jobs again this next month. Tara will be adding more pictures of Cori's party we used a different camera and it will take a while to figure out how to transfer the pics. See you next time something out of the ordinary happens.

copyright infringment

I read my wife's cousins blog tonight about her quirks. I thought to myself that those aren't very strange quirks except for maybe the one about not liking to run into people. I gave it some thought and found out that I have some pretty odd quirks too. I don't know if I will be able to come up with seven tonight but there are a couple that stand out.

1. When I eat cereal in the morning I pour milk into the cereal until I see the first flake or puff or FMW or cheerio move. Then I proceed to rotate my bowl clockwise and tamp down the cereal into the milk so none of it is extremely dry or sharp on my gums.

2. I firmly believe that 2% milk is the only way to go. I have a near philosophy on the matter. Why drink milk at all if it is closer to being water than milk. Why is milk good for you?... because of the calcium right? Well calcium is white and when the color of skim milk is opaque or less white than the two percent that would indicate that something has been lost. Women that drink skim milk are drinking it because they don't want to exercise to work off the chub they accumulate from watching three hours of soaps a day. I compromised with my wife and drink 1% but whole milk is another story. If you are going to drink whole milk why not just buy a cow. There is a scripture that says "delight in fatness" so a little fat isn't all bad.

3. Hamburgers. I eat them a certain way that nobody I know does except maybe the people that have seen the superiority of my method. I set the hamburger on top of my hand and rotate it depending on where the drips come out of. Clockwise too by the way. After all if its good enough for Father time its good enough for me. My method is cleaner and more effective. Your hands don't get greasy by squeezing out the guts of the burger they remain clean and clear of any sauce, grease or other debris that comes out of the hamburger. If you are skeptical try eating a Carls Junior six dollar burger, (specifically the guacamole bacon) without spilling anything out of it. I have accomplished it with my hamburger eating method. Let me know and be honest zero spills.

4. If I wake up in the morning and stub my toe or something super crappy happens in the first fifteen minutes of being awake I am next to certain that my whole day is going to suck badly.

5. At UPS I have to throw my last bag on the belt or disaster will befall me. Other people can throw the others on but not the first or the last. It is a serious superstition.

6. Toothpaste should exit the tube a certain way. From the bottom up. Not from the middle out or from top to bottom. I am pretty sure I picked that one up from old Dad. No excess needs to be left gumming up the cap area.

7. Since basic training I fold my shirts just a certain way. If they are folded otherwise I refold.

8. I am particular about the way I hang my pants. I place the first two belt loops together on each side of the button or snap. I don't rehang pants though not as big a priority on my list of quirks.

9. Sorry girls but I cannot drive as a passenger to a woman without being very nervous to the point of near hyperventilation. This is attributed to Alice Martineau who rolled her Geo metro in a blizzard on a mountain pass in Northern Nevada with me as the passenger.

10. I am ultra sensitive to the ground shaking ever since the 7.1 earthquake of 89 in Los Gatos Ca. if you want to play a good joke on me lift a desk up and shake it a bit while I am sitting on it and you will see the worlds fastest human.

So I came up with ten; more than I expected but I think they are diverse quirks and some of them I take some pride in as you may have been able to tell. My youngest daughter takes after me and she can be very difficult sometimes. So yes I know I need to keep these things to myself to avoid warping my childrens brains.

Provo trip

Robyn and me went to Provo and picked grapes at one of my sisters past places of residence. I am terrible at doing video I don't talk enough or I talk too much. I either keep too still or I move around too much. You will see what I mean when I post these videos. Watch for the fabled you'll put your eye out actually happen with Isaiah and Ali on the fence. Bed time see you next time.

soccer

Here are some recent videos of lagoon and soccer. My wife erased one of my posts that had some cool links on it. Dadsagainstdrugdealers.com, kirstin roper photography, and weburbanist.com. I have a secret everyone; something that Tara doesn't want her mom my aunt Robyn to know about. I played another game with gays and dolls, oops guys and dolls coed team last night. I didn't have such a good night as last time. The coed teams only allow guys to touch the ball three times per possesion, that really lowers your chances of getting a goal. I think I might join a mens team instead. Our van got a flat, lame. We go to Provo soon I will take pictures of your old house Christine maybe get you homesick enough to come back.

Here's a horrible pic (I need a new phone.) of Cori going to town with her, "Chocolate Hot." She loves it.
Cori's funny joke of the day... She made it up. You can't tell where her political influence comes from, can you?
"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Obama eats poo-poo."

cori's only swimming pool

I have taken my kids swimming quite a bit throughout the years. Our third child Cori always is a party killer when it comes to swimming though. "I'm cold daddy I want to go hooome." So this weekend I thought I would try out Crystal hot Springs in Honeyville Utah. I took her there once before but she was still scared of the water. I guess you could say it didn't go over too well. But we have been to other pools since and she has gotten in and played for a little and then gets cold and wants to go home. At Clearfield pool and Bountiful Recreation Center they have hot tubs that only adults can go in. Can you guess where I am going with this?... So I go to Clearfield last week and I try going in the hot tub while watching Cori play at the other pool but she decides to throw a fit because she can't go in the hot tub. So we leave in order to spare everyone their ears what a shreiking screaming little turd. So I decided to try Crystal again last Saturday thinking she has had more experience with water and swimming environments since our last time there. It worked great all except the part where they close and my kids don't want to go home. So now all three are on the same page for Crystal. It is the best with the exception of Lava according to the two oldest ones Isaiah and Ali. I like Lava too but Crystal has an unregulated way about it that I like very much. Very few rules exist there, no lifeguards telling you not to run, all you have is your own good judgement which is just how it should be. Anyway here are some pics of Cori getting used to the nice warm water and one of our traditions of getting popsicles after going swimming at Crystal. Cori didn't look to happy in the picture but lets just say she warmed up to it, ha ha ha get it, hot springs, warmed up to it. What a nerd I am huh. She almost drowned by the way, thank goodness her dad looks out for her. I was in the hot tub trying to track all three kids in different directions and when I came back to Cori playing in the chlorinated pool on the other side she had lost a hold on the bar by the stairs and was drifting out splashing and panicking wow I felt like it was slow motion but when I got back to the hot tub the lady that was sitting across from me was looking at me in half shock and said "I have never seen anyone move that fast!" Cori didn't have any negative effects from the experience and wanted to go right back to playing thank goodness. Ali felt left out and had to tell them about the time she almost drowned in a swimming hole we found up in the mountains and her dad jumped in with his clothes on and boots and cell phone in his pocket to save her. The experiences with swimming wow. I will leave the Mexican Log jam story for another time.

Halloween true story

Ok It's halloween soon so I am going to share some scary stories with all of you and this is the scariest thing I have ever experienced on the internet. Ok pop your toes pull your ear lobes and type in badger badger badger in the search area above and you may never be heard from again. If you can bear to talk about it afterwards you can share your thoughts with me about your experience.

first snow

I didn't crash. I have been stressing out about the first snow storm of the year because I drive for UPS and I have heard so many horror stories. Well today was the first Saturday that I have driven in bad weather and it wasn't so bad. Isn't it always like that, you feel differently about things until you jump in and do them. Personal experience is an interesting thing. Tonight for example I found a friends blog and his wife maintains it mostly, anyway I know she is a huge Twilight fan. I am a man and when my wife started reading those "stinkin vampire books" I was really against it. Mainstream vampire culture really sucks in my opinion the people who are into that are freaks, it is simply evil to drink blood and it is glorified, those are and were some of my thoughts before reading these books. I don't want to go into detail on the why's and the how come's because it would take forever but after I read them I realized nothing is ever as it seems until you try it. Take the Underworld movies, the biggest fans of that movie are men at least in my experience because of Kate Beckingsdale. Interview with a vampire with Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt evil and dark bad intent all the way through. I really hope Stephanie Meyer does not let Hollywood corrupt her books and make a trendy vampire movie that doesn't focus on some of the uncommon themes of her books.
I am Bella by the way according to my twilight personality test. Go to Twilighters anonymous I think it is called. Sorry about that tangent. I drive for UPS out in Tooele, Grantsville, Stansbury, Erda, Lakeview, Dugway, Vernon, Delle, and Magna. On Saturdays most of those lesser known towns don't get deliveries but it is fun to go on a weekly road trip even if it is in an ugly brown vehicle. So it was snowing hard there today and I didn't get wrapped around a telephone pole or slide completely off the road like I was imagining I might. I met two MIB dogs super friendly. I met a family that I can only assume adopted twenty physically or mentally disabled black children awesome people props to them. They have got to be loaded and good hearted. I was given help finding an address today by UHP strange that I was served and not given a ticket which has been the case with me historically. Served might be the wrong word because I have gotten served before when given a ticket in a sense. So props to the UHP everyone they aren't all bad.
I am lame, I missed my sons first goal in soccer because I was donating plasma and thought their games would be cancelled due to the weather. So I got thirty bucks for donating plasma and then had to give twenty of it to Isaiah as promised for the goal. He went out right away and bought two transformers and gave two to tithing. I am a proud father today. Man alot happens in a day so much to tell. The coolest things about Isaiahs goal are that three weeks ago he was looking up at clouds and picking grass during games. When I said twenty dollars a goal he changed completely. His first game he tried really hard and came close but no goal. So I told him "I can't do consolation prizes but I can work with you to improve your game if you want." So he got fired up and practiced hard then he had a second game still no goal. Then he practiced more and finally after working for a desired result he made a goal and got really close two other times. So basically he learned in a small way what work and practice can do. So I am hoping that is like adding fuel to the fire. Second thing that was the most cool was that he remembered tithing. I am thinking his Mom reminded him but he came downstairs to tell me he paid it and I think he felt good about doing it. I am really happy that I am not a complete failure as a father today and hopefully with the help of the Lord things can go like this on a regular basis. I know the quality is bad but that is a little clip of the game. In the future we will use our camera that is better.

I am still young

I played indoor soccer tonight at the Sportsplex it was really fun. Despite what Tara says soccer is awesome. To some its like beer, it is hard to drink at first but after awhile you start to enjoy it or at least the effects of it. To others it is hereditary. I play at work with some older guys and word nerd linguists but tonight I played against athletes and I smoked all of them. Six goals!!! I am awesome excuse me while I pat myself on the back. In case you haven't noticed I am passionate crazy about this sport. I have always looked back with regret to my sophmore year when I made the varsity team only to discover I was ineligible because of math. I am trying half heartedly to ween myself off of politics, it makes me angry and after I realize there is nothing I can change I become very depressed. Soccer is a worthy pursuit. It makes me happy even when I lose. I lost fifteen pounds in a week playing for an hour and a half per day four days a week mixed in with riding my bike to work. I make friends and remember what its like to be socialable again. Speaking of friends I have run into some friends from high school. Lane Argyle's wife Jamie, Sarah Lund Bangerter, Todd Allen and Mark Andrezzi. Someone should tell Tara she should welcome me playing soccer because I could be taking up other hobbies like shrinking skulls in my basement or VOODOO... (on Barak Obama) he he he.

Boy-0h-boy. I haven't even been online for awhile, but I can see I need to start posting again. If for no other reason than to balance out our blog. I can't have the whole world, (or the 10 or so people that actually check our blog) think that BOTH of us think "The world is going to end next week, but at least we have soccer and Sarah Palin in the mean time." That may be taking a bit of paraphrasing liberties, but Cameron has been pretty sillious lately. By the way I love my scouts, they are not punks. They are just in their young 'rough draft' form.
So, funny quote of the week goes to Cori. I'll end with that.
"Mama, let's get your swimming soup and go swimming. Daddy is strong. He can pick me up, and take me in a boat, and we can go swimming. Where's my swimming soup?" At Walmart today, she "rowed" herself around the store with a mop as her paddle, and the cart was her boat. She had fun with that. So did I.

Ronaldinho Freestyle

another noteworthy video of the king of soccer.

Gov. Palin On The Hugh Hewitt Show

This radio interview is of Sarah Palin, the VP on the McCain ticket. Off to the left here is Bill Ayers a leftist domestic terrorist that blows and is one of Obama's close friends. I know who I am voting for.

Conference time

Well I am not crazy. Even the General authorities say hard times are coming. Can anyone say I told you so. President Monson said it shouldn't be important to be right but it feels kind of vindicating. I got my kids to sit and watch two hours of conference. I had to use threats of cleaning the house and picking up after themselves as the other option of course. I told them I would give them a quiz at the end of the Brazilian guys talk about the still small voice and the importance of simplicity or rather our testimony not needing a powerful experience to make it strong but a gradual daily feeding. When they failed that quiz miserably I gave them another chance. The next talk was on trials and tribulations and how we should meet them. I hope they at least felt some of the spirit of the conference even though they were giving me the standard guesses about what the talk was about. First guess Jesus, Second guess Faith, Third guess follow the commandments, and so on down the list of the most successful guess sequence they have developed for their primary classes. Anything but listening. That is what I am going to do!, if my kids can pass a quiz on sacrament meeting each week that will determine whether or not I lock up the television. Maybe then I can get something from sacrament meeting again. Some great things were given to us this conference. Just by hearing some of it on the radio made me want to see it. I had drill this weekend so I missed most of it but I still caught some of it. Isaiah and Ali had a jog a thon at school. The fall precipitation has begun along with cooler temperatures. Cori said she wanted a strawberry birthday cake with lions and tigers and bears and horses on it. My jobs are getting tiresome. I am trying to learn computers with the military but it is hard with nobody to teach you but yourself. Tara is working with the scouts a lot. She puts in a lot of effort even though sometimes the boys just want to play video games. "Punks" I say. They have been very rude to my wife and to me. I don't like kids when they reach the age of eight and nine. At least (these) kids are on my scat list. This week I am going to hike up to Ben Lomond peak before the snow comes. I went to see a movie with my fellow air force buddy from ups we saw Apoloosa? I don't know how you spell it but it was pretty well done. We went to the Gateway mall and I walked by the new Tocanos restaurant. The low lighting and the brazilian jazz with the smells of the barbaque wafting out of the 10X10 windows letting you see the flames of the fire light up the shadowy meats rotating on their spits almost made me climb over the window sill and into the restaurant. See you all next Sunday or whenever.