Friday, April 20, 2012

Proud Stay-at-home Mom


Me, with my darling baby girl, India

With my two-year-old son, Truman at the train show. My happiness as a mother is magnified with every little childhood joy I share with my children.

I posted this on facebook yesterday, and just wanted to post a version that I was able to proofread and try to correct all of the errors that were in it, due to my typing in on my cell phone. I feel very passionate about this, and glad I wrote it out.

I've been thinking about Hilary Rosen's snarky remarks all day. I can't dec
ide which part of it all bothers me more. So I'm going to list all of them.
1. My husband is a Staff Sgt. In the USAF and does not by any of our societal standards make a lot of money. He works a second job so I can stay home with our 5 children. I don't look down on women who in similar situations choose to work, and don't like it when people look down on me for my decision to focus on my family. We may not be able to send our children to private schools, or dress them in name brand clothing, but at the end of the day I know they have been fed healthy meals cooked with love. Their homework is done, their chores completed. I've driven them myself to soccer, gymnastics, and dance. If the phone rings during the day because they are sick, I am there to pick then up from school and give them love and nurturing. I know there are women out there that wish they could say the same thing but can't make it work, and I also know there are women out there who could make that work and choose not to. Everyone knows their calling in life. For some it may be a career, for others it may be motherhood, for others it is the daunting task of juggling both. I don't judge any of them.
2. Is Ann Romney's choice to stay at home with her children any less admirable because her husband was a successful businessman? Is her worth as a woman or a human being lessened because her husband made a lot of money? Any sacrifices she made, giving up dreams to be a doctor, lawyer, artist, or whatever... are every bit as significant as the dreams I gave up when I decided it was best for my family if I quit my job and began my 'work at home.' Isn't the insinuation Ann Romney's worth and sacrifices are lessened by her husband's financial status contrary to the typical liberal view of the value of women?
3. By saying Ann Romney doesn't know what is going on in this country, or couldn't possibly understand the economic situation we are facing because she has "never worked a day in her life" (*oh, it makes my blood boil to write that*). She is not only insulting an intelligent, educated, involved woman. She is insulting over 5 million of us, who are stay at home moms. (Stat taken from a news article I read today). Because I don't go to an office building myself, I can't comprehend what is going on around me? I can't feel the fears of my husband's position being eliminated? I can't sympathize with my neighbor who lost his job, and has been searching for 6 months for a new one? The 4 years I studied at university, the years of work experience I have, and the years and months and weeks and days of service I gave for my church and other organizations now are reduced to meaningless? My brain and soul and my entire being that was nurtured from a young age, also by a stay at home mom, now are not considered worthy to give an opinion? When I handed in my first paper for my English 2010 class, my professor asked me to stay after class to discuss it. As I sat in his office, nervous there was criticism coming, he simply said, "Tara, I can tell you have had some good instruction in your life. Your paper really reflects a great education." Relieved, I told him, yes- I had excellent teachers, especially my senior English teacher. I will never forget what he said to me next, and I may have never realized the entirety of the truth of it had he not said it. "No, that's not what I mean. I'm sure your teachers helped you along the way, but you don't produce a paper as good as this without a very educated and caring parent that taught you from a young age." Yes, my Mother, who didn't go to bed when she was tired and would probably have liked to, is the one who was by my side those late nights while I finished all of those high school papers. She is the one who helped me choose a good path in school and in life. She is the one responsible for me being able to read when kindergarten started, and understand the basics of math and science before we learned them in school. She is the reason I had confidence to succeed in high school, college, and beyond. My mother, who attended business college, and with her high intelligence level, could easily have continued down her career path as an accountant, chose to stay at home and sew for me and my siblings, to cook, clean, can, bottle, garden, teach, drive, and guide us along our childhoods. All of that is the reason I sat in my professor's office, stunned and proud of his praise. So to take all of my accomplishments, my mother's accomplishments, and Ann Romney's accomplishments away, and to say that we don't have the understanding or experience to comment or give opinions on society, economics, government or any matter is a reprehensible statement. Who do you think was my father's support and counsel in his role as a professional? Who do you think is my husband's greatest counsel? Who do you think Mitt Romney values and trusts above all others? The women in their lives. Their wives. It is rare to find a successful man or woman without a strong and supporting spouse standing beside them.
My Mother and father on their wedding day, March 21, 1959. They just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary.


4. By saying Mitt Romney, because of his background (whether she meant family, religion, or both) has a "backwards view" on women and life... She is showing ignorance to the truth of Mitt Romney's personal, professional, and political histories. And also once again she is insinuating that my father, and my husband are "backwards" and therefore less worthy of human beings. My father is not, my husband is not, nor is Romney backwards or less worthy to lead because they supported their wives choices to stay home with their family.


This picture was taken while visiting my husband while he was in Texas for military training.


Family is everything to me... This is what our family reunions look like. This is the family of my Grandma and Grandpa, Howard and Verna Holt. I love all of you!


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