Proud Stay-at-home Mom

Me, with my darling baby girl, India

With my two-year-old son, Truman at the train show. My happiness as a mother is magnified with every little childhood joy I share with my children.

I posted this on facebook yesterday, and just wanted to post a version that I was able to proofread and try to correct all of the errors that were in it, due to my typing in on my cell phone. I feel very passionate about this, and glad I wrote it out.

I've been thinking about Hilary Rosen's snarky remarks all day. I can't decide which part of it all bothers me more. So I'm going to list all of them.
1. My husband is a Staff Sgt. In the USAF and does not by any of our societal standards make a lot of money. He works a second job so I can stay home with our 5 children. I don't look down on women who in similar situations choose to work, and don't like it when people look down on me for my decision to focus on my family. We may not be able to send our children to private schools, or dress them in name brand clothing, but at the end of the day I know they have been fed healthy meals cooked with love. Their homework is done, their chores completed. I've driven them myself to soccer, gymnastics, and dance. If the phone rings during the day because they are sick, I am there to pick then up from school and give them love and nurturing. I know there are women out there that wish they could say the same thing but can't make it work, and I also know there are women out there who could make that work and choose not to. Everyone knows their calling in life. For some it may be a career, for others it may be motherhood, for others it is the daunting task of juggling both. I don't judge any of them.
2. Is Ann Romney's choice to stay at home with her children any less admirable because her husband was a successful businessman? Is her worth as a woman or a human being lessened because her husband made a lot of money? Any sacrifices she made, giving up dreams to be a doctor, lawyer, artist, or whatever... are every bit as significant as the dreams I gave up when I decided it was best for my family if I quit my job and began my 'work at home.' Isn't the insinuation Ann Romney's worth and sacrifices are lessened by her husband's financial status contrary to the typical liberal view of the value of women?
3. By saying Ann Romney doesn't know what is going on in this country, or couldn't possibly understand the economic situation we are facing because she has "never worked a day in her life" (*oh, it makes my blood boil to write that*). She is not only insulting an intelligent, educated, involved woman. She is insulting over 5 million of us, who are stay at home moms. (Stat taken from a news article I read today). Because I don't go to an office building myself, I can't comprehend what is going on around me? I can't feel the fears of my husband's position being eliminated? I can't sympathize with my neighbor who lost his job, and has been searching for 6 months for a new one? The 4 years I studied at university, the years of work experience I have, and the years and months and weeks and days of service I gave for my church and other organizations now are reduced to meaningless? My brain and soul and my entire being that was nurtured from a young age, also by a stay at home mom, now are not considered worthy to give an opinion? When I handed in my first paper for my English 2010 class, my professor asked me to stay after class to discuss it. As I sat in his office, nervous there was criticism coming, he simply said, "Tara, I can tell you have had some good instruction in your life. Your paper really reflects a great education." Relieved, I told him, yes- I had excellent teachers, especially my senior English teacher. I will never forget what he said to me next, and I may have never realized the entirety of the truth of it had he not said it. "No, that's not what I mean. I'm sure your teachers helped you along the way, but you don't produce a paper as good as this without a very educated and caring parent that taught you from a young age." Yes, my Mother, who didn't go to bed when she was tired and would probably have liked to, is the one who was by my side those late nights while I finished all of those high school papers. She is the one who helped me choose a good path in school and in life. She is the one responsible for me being able to read when kindergarten started, and understand the basics of math and science before we learned them in school. She is the reason I had confidence to succeed in high school, college, and beyond. My mother, who attended business college, and with her high intelligence level, could easily have continued down her career path as an accountant, chose to stay at home and sew for me and my siblings, to cook, clean, can, bottle, garden, teach, drive, and guide us along our childhoods. All of that is the reason I sat in my professor's office, stunned and proud of his praise. So to take all of my accomplishments, my mother's accomplishments, and Ann Romney's accomplishments away, and to say that we don't have the understanding or experience to comment or give opinions on society, economics, government or any matter is a reprehensible statement. Who do you think was my father's support and counsel in his role as a professional? Who do you think is my husband's greatest counsel? Who do you think Mitt Romney values and trusts above all others? The women in their lives. Their wives. It is rare to find a successful man or woman without a strong and supporting spouse standing beside them.
My Mother and father on their wedding day, March 21, 1959. They just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary.


4. By saying Mitt Romney, because of his background (whether she meant family, religion, or both) has a "backwards view" on women and life... She is showing ignorance to the truth of Mitt Romney's personal, professional, and political histories. And also once again she is insinuating that my father, and my husband are "backwards" and therefore less worthy of human beings. My father is not, my husband is not, nor is Romney backwards or less worthy to lead because they supported their wives choices to stay home with their family.


This picture was taken while visiting my husband while he was in Texas for military training.


Family is everything to me... This is what our family reunions look like. This is the family of my Grandma and Grandpa, Howard and Verna Holt. I love all of you!

Trumanicles

Tman was sleeping by me the other night and he woke up- I think his blanket came off and he got cold. Then he was asking me questions like, "Where is the moon, Mom?" I told him, "Outside in the sky." He said, "In the air?" I said, "Yes in the air, up in the sky." He seemed like he was thinking about that for a while. About 5 minutes later he said, "I hear the moon, Mom." He was scared because he could hear the buzz of car sounds from the window. I told him it was just the sound of cars outside, but it really scared him. He kept asking about the moon and cars and the sound. He was snuggled up and grabbing my arm. Poor sweet thing.

Here's my other special Truman story of the week. I posted it on Facebook- but I love it. Just one conversation reminds me why I love being my kids' Mom. It went like this...
Me: Hey, Trumanicles.
T: I'm not Trumanicles!
Me: You're not? Are you the Trumanator?
T: I'm not the Trumanator!
Me: Oh. Are you my Trumy- love?
T: Yes, I am. {pause} And you're my Mommy-love. <3

He loves dressing up and pretending, and getting a laugh.

He's pretty good at getting a laugh.

Potty-training Truman has been pretty adventurous.

Just don't mess with the Trumanator's mealtime.

Or desert time.

He's such a boy. Loves dirt, Trains, cars, mud, insects, frogs and snails and puppy-dog tails.

I love you, Truman!

Proud Stay-at-home Mom

Me, with my darling baby girl, India

With my two-year-old son, Truman at the train show. My happiness as a mother is magnified with every little childhood joy I share with my children.

I posted this on facebook yesterday, and just wanted to post a version that I was able to proofread and try to correct all of the errors that were in it, due to my typing in on my cell phone. I feel very passionate about this, and glad I wrote it out.

I've been thinking about Hilary Rosen's snarky remarks all day. I can't decide which part of it all bothers me more. So I'm going to list all of them.
1. My husband is a Staff Sgt. In the USAF and does not by any of our societal standards make a lot of money. He works a second job so I can stay home with our 5 children. I don't look down on women who in similar situations choose to work, and don't like it when people look down on me for my decision to focus on my family. We may not be able to send our children to private schools, or dress them in name brand clothing, but at the end of the day I know they have been fed healthy meals cooked with love. Their homework is done, their chores completed. I've driven them myself to soccer, gymnastics, and dance. If the phone rings during the day because they are sick, I am there to pick then up from school and give them love and nurturing. I know there are women out there that wish they could say the same thing but can't make it work, and I also know there are women out there who could make that work and choose not to. Everyone knows their calling in life. For some it may be a career, for others it may be motherhood, for others it is the daunting task of juggling both. I don't judge any of them.
2. Is Ann Romney's choice to stay at home with her children any less admirable because her husband was a successful businessman? Is her worth as a woman or a human being lessened because her husband made a lot of money? Any sacrifices she made, giving up dreams to be a doctor, lawyer, artist, or whatever... are every bit as significant as the dreams I gave up when I decided it was best for my family if I quit my job and began my 'work at home.' Isn't the insinuation Ann Romney's worth and sacrifices are lessened by her husband's financial status contrary to the typical liberal view of the value of women?
3. By saying Ann Romney doesn't know what is going on in this country, or couldn't possibly understand the economic situation we are facing because she has "never worked a day in her life" (*oh, it makes my blood boil to write that*). She is not only insulting an intelligent, educated, involved woman. She is insulting over 5 million of us, who are stay at home moms. (Stat taken from a news article I read today). Because I don't go to an office building myself, I can't comprehend what is going on around me? I can't feel the fears of my husband's position being eliminated? I can't sympathize with my neighbor who lost his job, and has been searching for 6 months for a new one? The 4 years I studied at university, the years of work experience I have, and the years and months and weeks and days of service I gave for my church and other organizations now are reduced to meaningless? My brain and soul and my entire being that was nurtured from a young age, also by a stay at home mom, now are not considered worthy to give an opinion? When I handed in my first paper for my English 2010 class, my professor asked me to stay after class to discuss it. As I sat in his office, nervous there was criticism coming, he simply said, "Tara, I can tell you have had some good instruction in your life. Your paper really reflects a great education." Relieved, I told him, yes- I had excellent teachers, especially my senior English teacher. I will never forget what he said to me next, and I may have never realized the entirety of the truth of it had he not said it. "No, that's not what I mean. I'm sure your teachers helped you along the way, but you don't produce a paper as good as this without a very educated and caring parent that taught you from a young age." Yes, my Mother, who didn't go to bed when she was tired and would probably have liked to, is the one who was by my side those late nights while I finished all of those high school papers. She is the one who helped me choose a good path in school and in life. She is the one responsible for me being able to read when kindergarten started, and understand the basics of math and science before we learned them in school. She is the reason I had confidence to succeed in high school, college, and beyond. My mother, who attended business college, and with her high intelligence level, could easily have continued down her career path as an accountant, chose to stay at home and sew for me and my siblings, to cook, clean, can, bottle, garden, teach, drive, and guide us along our childhoods. All of that is the reason I sat in my professor's office, stunned and proud of his praise. So to take all of my accomplishments, my mother's accomplishments, and Ann Romney's accomplishments away, and to say that we don't have the understanding or experience to comment or give opinions on society, economics, government or any matter is a reprehensible statement. Who do you think was my father's support and counsel in his role as a professional? Who do you think is my husband's greatest counsel? Who do you think Mitt Romney values and trusts above all others? The women in their lives. Their wives. It is rare to find a successful man or woman without a strong and supporting spouse standing beside them.
My Mother and father on their wedding day, March 21, 1959. They just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary.


4. By saying Mitt Romney, because of his background (whether she meant family, religion, or both) has a "backwards view" on women and life... She is showing ignorance to the truth of Mitt Romney's personal, professional, and political histories. And also once again she is insinuating that my father, and my husband are "backwards" and therefore less worthy of human beings. My father is not, my husband is not, nor is Romney backwards or less worthy to lead because they supported their wives choices to stay home with their family.


This picture was taken while visiting my husband while he was in Texas for military training.


Family is everything to me... This is what our family reunions look like. This is the family of my Grandma and Grandpa, Howard and Verna Holt. I love all of you!

Pubic Symphysis Disorder, anyone?

I guess I have always considered myself pretty tough. I feel like my pain tolerance is relatively high. The only times I remember feeling vulnerable to pain has been in giving birth to my children, and after having ankle surgery when a staff infection set in. Childbirth- I guess it's just a vulnerable situation anyway, one where I felt so little control over anything. I guess that is why I chose to have epidurals with four of my children, and would have with #3 if time allowed. I don't think that makes me less strong in general, but I'll freely admit that during the times I was in labor and giving birth, I didn't feel strong or confident. When I broke my ankle, I was devastated. I had just lost 60 pounds and was training for my first half marathon. But I didn't really give into the despair until the staff infection set in. Because of that I ended up on absolute bed rest for 6 weeks or so. After that, mainly bed rest was recommended. It was over 3 1/2 months before my doctor allowed me to take a step without crutches. Even then I could only take about ten steps before the pain made me give in and go back to the crutches. It was a long road. One I had to take while I was pregnant with my fifth child. My darling India. Which brings me back to the topic of this post. After giving birth to her, I started feeling good again. Happy to be not pregnant, not broken or crippled in any way- I tried to start running 5 or 6 weeks after she was born. My ankle and heel gave me a little trouble, but pain up higher seemed even worse. I wondered if I had pulled a groin muscle or something. So I didn't keep running. I don't remember when the pain started getting worse, but it did. I didn't understand it. I felt like I did when I was pregnant. I would stand up, and all of the sudden I couldn't move or take a step because it hurt so bad. Sometimes it was my groin muscle area, sometimes my lower abdomen, sometimes my very lower back. Sometimes the pain was right at the top of my "privates". I wondered if I had an infection of some sort. I couldn't lift my two year old, or baskets of laundry, or on bad days even my little India. The Pain confused me because it moved. Left leg was worse, then right. Then one day my lower abdomen would hurt so bad I would fall down bent over after standing up. Then my lower back. Then back to my pubic area. Some days it was so bad I could barely walk up stairs or put my pants on. Some days I barely noticed it unless I was carrying a child or something heavy. The bones in my lower back, or the back of the pelvic bones (I don't know which ones, I'm not a doctor) were popping and grinding hundreds of times a day- anytime I bent or leaned over, or if I was laying down.
So about 11 months after I had India, I finally decided something isn't right, being tough isn't helping me get over this and I went to the doctor. I had never been to the doctor to say, "I'm in pain... this is hurting." So in a way I felt like a big baby. Especially because I was saying the pain was here, and here, and here, and here... oh and by the way my lower back pops and grinds all the time, I don't know if that's related. (He dismissed that and said it was probably another issue, possibly related to my scoliosis, which he had noticed I have) In the end, he diagnosed me with a chronic hip flexor strain and ordered Xrays of the area and of my whole back so he could assess the scoliosis. He had treated adults with scoliosis in the past, and even one who had severe health problems because of it and ended up having surgery for it. I think because of this all his focus when to my scoliosis, and not to the fact that I had been in pain for months. He ordered physical therapy for me, which in the end was my saving grace.
I had to wait almost a month until our insurance would cover the treatment fully. My physical therapist, Becky is so good. She helped my along after my ankle surgery, so I was happy to go back to her. She read the diagnosis, began asking questions, and within a few minutes of questions and examination she said I had pubic symphysis disorder. Pubic whathysis? She had to repeat it three times and eventually write it down for me I had never heard of it. She explained that during pregnancy when the relaxin hormone is at work, the pubic bone can shift out of place. Or it can happen during child birth. Usually it pops back into place on it's own, but obviously mine hadn't. I was kind of overloaded with the new information, but immediately I was happy to understand why the pain I felt was like the pain I felt when I was pregnant. It WAS the same pain.
So of course when I got home I turned to the internet to understand this strange named disorder better. I have to tell you I cried real tears. This is what I read...

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) is most commonly associated with pregnancy and childbirth. It is a condition that causes excessive movement of the pubic symphysis, either anterior or lateral, as well as associated pain, possibly because of a misalignment of the pelvis. SPD is a dysfunction that is associated with pelvic girdle pain and the names are often used interchangeably. It is thought to affect up to one in four pregnant women to varying degrees, with 7% of sufferers continuing to experience serious symptoms postpartum. Although the condition was recognised by Hippocrates, incidences of SPD appear to have increased in recent years; it is unclear whether this is because the average maternal age is increasing, or because the condition is being diagnosed more frequently.
The main symptom is usually pain or discomfort in the pelvic region. This will probably be centred on the joint at the front of the pelvis (the pubic symphysis). Some sufferers report being able to hear the lower back and hip joints, the sacroiliac, clicking or popping in and out as they walk or change position. Sufferers frequently also experience pain in the lower back, hips, groin, lower abdomen, and legs. The severity of the pain can range from mild discomfort to extreme and prolonged suffering. There have been links between SPD and depression on account of the associated physical discomfort Sufferers may walk with a characteristic waddling gait and have difficulty climbing stairs, problems with leg abduction and adduction, pain when carrying out weight bearing activities, difficulties carrying out everyday activities, and difficulties standing.


This is where the tears came. I guess because I had a hard time admitting there was something wrong, and after finally going to the doctor and being given a diagnosis that didn't make sense I felt worse emotionally. This eventual understanding was so... validating. Such a relief just to know what was wrong. I mean- I could have written that paragraph about the symptoms, quite literally. I believe I probably suffered from this during all my pregnancies, but until now never after.
So now here I am at the beginning of a long road again it seems. I have been to the physical therapist a few times, and she is beginning to seem discouraged about not being able to pop it back. She thinks my muscles have tightened around the area, maybe as a protection, but it is making it hard to correct. My relief is turning to fear a little bit- I am starting to realize that because this usually corrects itself within 3-9 months after childbirth and I am getting worse more than better, I may have a problem. But I will take it one day at a time. If anyone can help me, I believe Becky, my PT can. She's really great.
What a long an emotional year. Not all the pain came from this, but the physical pain definitely made any other pain I had harder to deal with. It has been exhausting and quite discouraging. Especially to someone who has never had physical pain inhibit them. Added to the six-seven months previous to delivery when I was recovering from my ankle- it has almost broken me. And that is something I have never admitted at any time. But there it is. I don't have a lot of close friends. I don't talk to many people in depth nowadays at all. I am so happy that I have reconnected with one of my college best friends, because I have had someone to talk to about this a little bit. But I felt so many emotions still, I felt I had to write it all down. Luckily I haven't written a blog entry in months and months, so this will not likely get a huge readership. But I guess maybe writing it down will be good for me anyway.
How about it? If you are one of the two people to read this, have you ever heard of pubic Symphisis disorder before? I really wish I had.

Monday, yes it's been a few weeks since I said I would try and blog at least once a week.

So to go on with the fashion of typing just a few things that are on my mind... I will probably just scatter a few words together today.

~My kids make me laugh.
~We waited and waited for warm weather in Utah. Now we are in California. Grey skies and rain here- 85 degrees and warm in Utah. fffffttt.
~Nine years ago, when Ali was only a couple months old and Isaiah was 1 1/2, Cameron's half brother, Eric's daughter, Rebecca passed away. Cameron's family hasn't had much contact with Eric in the past, in fact Cameron is the only one of his siblings that has met him so far. We are excited for next summer when his family will be making a trip west from their home in Louisiana. There is something about the fibers of life that pull us towards family, even from such a distance- with so little known about each other- we are all so anxious to make that connection.
~The fragility and fleeting nature of life is on my mind because of the memory of Cameron's niece, which he met only once when she was young.
~Northern California is so beautiful and comfortable. Every time we come here I can see why people are willing to put up with the ridiculous cost of living to be here.
~No matter how beautiful and enjoyable other places are, somehow the mountains of Utah, and the deserts of southern Utah are home to me, all the way to my bones (If that is possible.) It probably goes back to family ties.
~I wish I were more perfect. Try a little harder, to be a little better, I guess.

Thursday Thoughts

This is a (very poor) picture of Isaiah receiving his Religious Square Knot Scouting Award. I was so pleased to see him earn it. That is our Bishop, Bishop Dimond presenting it to him.

Days keep passing away... Lately I have had so many thought flying through my mind. I don't know if I ever have time for them to fully develop before something interrupts them. I was reading through the blog of one of my classmates from Malad, Tricia, and and she has one day a week where she just writes random thoughts that she's had. I kind of like that idea... whether or not I'll be as diligent as she is on doing it weekly... hmmm, don't put money one it. So here goes my first "Thursday Thoughts" Maybe next week it'll be Tuesday. Maybe Friday. Maybe I'll forget all together.

~I am really not a scheduler, planner, or organizer.

~My children will probably grow up to be procrastinators, and spontaneous, and not responsible planners.

~There are some good things about being spontaneous

~I noticed after proofreading this entry how there seems to be a really obvious void where I am ignoring the bad things about not being organized.

~I like the color yellow. It makes me happy. I think this started a little over a year ago, when it became Cori's favorite color, and I was always noticing yellow things to point out to her. She's moved on past her yellow phase. I haven't.

~Some days I get discouraged because I have 20 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-child-bearing weight. Some days I get frustrated that I can't exercise like it did before I broke my ankle. Some days I wonder if Heavenly Father guided me to that waterfall cliff that fateful day last June when I broke my ankle, because he knew exercise and weight loss was nearing obsession with me, and may have been taking precedence over my sweet children. Every single day, I HAD to burn at least 3000 calories. But was I ever making sure I HAD to read to my children?

~I am excited for school to be out so there is less running around. It will probably take me less than 24 hours to miss school days.

~I hope to have a successful schedule for my children to follow during the summer, so they can keep up with learning, reading, and daily jobs. I worry I won't be able to execute this. (See first thought.)

~People complain too much. And it's usually the people who don't really have much to complain about.

~I love my kids, and their welfare is always on my mind. Some times it weighs very heavily on my mind, and I'm often searching for the best method to handle each of them. It is discouraging when I can't find a good direction or solution for their individual needs.

~I think it is absolutely crazy that I can buy a whole new printer, ink included, for cheaper than the cost of replacing ink cartridges. It seems so wrong to throw a perfectly functioning printer in the garbage- but it is what it is.

~Do all kids think they know more than their adult counterparts?

~I'm excited for summer fun!

When I woke up this morning at 6 I was really thirsty, so I went to get a drink. Tman and India were on my bed sleeping (Truman had woken up really sad sometime in the night and Cameron brought him into us, and India woke up to eat about the time Cameron left for work, so I was sleeping in between the two of them for an hour or so.) As I left I looked at them and thought, "Do I dare leave them alone, what if Truman wakes up..." They were pretty far apart on the bed, so I didn't think he would roll over on her or anything, and of course I was just going to get a drink, so I went for it. After i got the drink i had to go to the bathroom. Isaiah was in the bath, so I went , downstairs. Of course while I'm down there I thought I'd hurry and put a load in the wash. As I'm coming up the stairs finally I hear the baby screaming. I run back to the room picturing Truman trying to pick her up or something. But he's sound asleep. With his fat leg lopped over her face/neck. Flop. I can just imagine India's shock at being awaken by such a thing. It must have happened right then, because Truman didn't even have a chance to wake up. I picked her up and patted her, and she calmed down for me pretty quick. That's my funny story of the day.


Ok, I really need to get a camera that is not a cell camera. My cell camera is a pretty good one, it's 7 mega pixal, and the first digital one we bought before Isaiah was born was a 3 mp. But it is hard to get a clear shot with this one... the flash makes the pic to bright sometimes, and if either the people you are photographing or your hand moves even a tiny bit... it's blurry. Like this super cute one of India smiling. Blurry. Oh, well... she's still cute!




Truman really loves our bird, Ronaldo. It's a good thing he does, so he gets some attention and love. The bird. Not Truman. He get's lots of attention and love. I love the second picture the most. He is turning his head to give the bird a kiss.




I think Cori was jealous of the attention Truman was getting with the bird and the pictures I was taking of them, so she wanted me to take some of her. I got some better ones of the bird, but her expression in this one is my favorite, so I put this one up.



Truman still likes to pretend he's the baby from time to time, and laying in the swing is just one of the ways he likes to do that. He is so cute and sweet, I don't have the heart to get mad at him. Even though he is the size of an average 4-yr-old. It's amazing it hasn't broken, but so far it's holding up. One day he tried to lay in it when the baby was already in it. Luckily Ali saw him and was able to stop him in time. Truman has been a truly good boy since the baby was born. He has never hurt her (on purpose... I don't think he understands his fat body would've squashed the baby in the swing.) Sometimes when I'm holding or nursing her, he wants me so he'll climb up and share my lap with her, but he never tries to push her off. He just smiles at her sweetly, and says her name, or "baby" and pats or rubs her head, or gives her a soft little kiss. It melts my heart every time. Cori was good with Truman, too but she was 3 1/2. Isaiah was so rough with Ali we could never leave them alone for a second. I think Truman is one of the sweetest little guys on the planet.


India is most definitely the strongest baby we have had. She was lifting her head up off my shoulder completely the day she was born. I think she must have been doing calisthenics in my belly. The first time we laid her on the floor right after we brought her home, she pushed her shoulder and head all the way up off the floor. She was like less than week old. Maybe she has some supergirl in her. Probably. This picture above she was only 2 or 3 weeks old or so, and look at her hold her head up.


I like this picture. This is Cameron and all three of his girls on the day we brought India home from the hospital.


This one is pretty good too. A little blurry again, but they were jumping around like crazy. They were having a 'go-crazy-with-Dad-night' a few days after India was born, I love how I captured Cameron's agony as one of the kids jumped on him roughly. The kids have so much fun that night, they have been begging to do it again, but I don't think Cameron has recovered yet.



My pictures are out of order, but what can ya do... file a complaint? Here is Ali at the hospital with India the day she was born. She is a good sister. To the baby and Truman. Isaiah and Cori? Well... maybe someday.


This is Truman the day after his birthday, on the way to Ewan's baptism. Isn't he handsome? And cute, falling asleep with his collection of trains in hand/lap.



I love this one, too.... After Ewan's baptism we went to visit Tamber's family. On the drive back, Cori was asleep by the time we got on the freeway. Isaiah made it halfway home, but fell asleep too. Isn't that just sweet? Isaiah is a very good brother. To Cori and Truman. Ali is too close to his age or something, and the baby is too little I guess. Again, maybe someday he'll be a good brother to all of them. I know siblings squabble, so I'll just be grateful it's not worse than it is, and that all the older ones are really good with the younger ones. At least I get some tender moments, and a few good photos to prove they happened.

Ali and Truman's birthdays

Train museum, Ogden



I snapped this when we were laying down playing. Truman is so much fun.



Easter Sunday girls... the boys weren't interested in posing.



We had a birthday week at our house this week. A busy week to boot, as all spring weeks are. Every week goes like this. Monday, Isaiah has soccer game (sometimes in Kaysville, sometimes as far as Ogden.) Tuesday, Ali has softball game and Isiaiah has scouts, Wednsday, Isaiah has soccer practice. Thursday, Ali has softball game and every other week also Activity days. Friday, Isaiah has Soccer game. Oh- and somewhere between 330 and 830 if we are not in any of those places... splash in homework and jobs and dinner and diaper changes... So with a birthday on Monday, and one on Friday... busy busy week. For Ali's birthday, she didn't want to go to the soccer game north of Ogden in Farr West, so she stayed with Robyn at our house and watched a movie she'd been wanting to see. The last few minutes of Isaiah's game was FREEZING. It was windy and then light rain turned to light hail, which turned almost violent within one or two minutes. Anyway we got drenched by the time the game was over and we ran to the parking lot. I'm glad Truman stayed home with Ali and Robyn. So we got home and Ali was able to open her presents and blow out candles. She was very happy she got just what she wanted... the books she asked for and a couple different kinds of invisible ink pens (the kind that show up under black light, which she also received.)



Ok, before I move onto Tmas birthday, I have to write down something funny I just heard on tv (one of the shows I watch when I can... Bones- the dialog is often quite clever.)
~Honesty is clearly the downfall of civilization; Civility, Propriety, and Manners are it's redeemers.
Ok, it is funnier after watching the whole episode unfold as the characters are experimenting with extreme honesty amongst each other.
Now moving on beyond the less relevant things that are on my mind.

Truman's birthday was pretty fun for all of us. We all got on the Front Runner train, and rode up to the Ogden station, where they also have a train museum. (TRAIN! train! Train! TRAIN! Tracks! TrAiNS!) The kids looked at and climbed on the display train engines they had, then we went home and Truman opened his presents (Trains!), then he blew out the candles on his train birthday cake (Trains!) Then he played with his new trains.



I think this if a first for me to have a child SO obsessed with any one thing, He eats with his trains, he sleeps with his trains, he cries hysterically during his bath because he can't bathe with them. It's been like this for a few months now. A month or so ago we discovered Disney channel has a new cartoon, and I knew immediately Tman would love it. Chuggington, It's the song that we can never stop singing, It's the only show he will sit down for more than a few minutes for. Isaiah liked cars, and he liked trains... but nothing to this extent. It's been fun for us to experience such a passion. His whole body actually stiffens with excitement when he sees a real train, as he is yelling, train! TRAIN! Oh mah goodness! Train!

It's Tuesday, so Isaiah is at scouts now, and Ali has to be at her softball game shortly... so gotta go!

Miracles happen, Tara Blogs....

I know, I know... worlds worst blogger. Good thing only one family is halfway 'round the world and really depends on our blog for information and entertainment... That makes fewer disappointed people in my blogging achievements. To Christine and her lovely family.. Sorry! I know you have been in Qatar and are starving for information about the most awesome family in the world. I apologize for being so selfish!
So any day now little girl Dryg will be born. If she is like the rest of her siblings she won't come early and I will go into the hospital Tuesday evening to begin a more natural inducement procedure. I guess instead of pumping the oxytocin into my blood to start the contractions, the Dr. plans on putting a hormone cream on my cervix (I forgot what it's called, but apparently it's the hormone that naturally starts the dilation and labor process) I don't know much about it, I just take my Dr.'s word for it that it's a good way to go. Apparently it's a slower process, that's why you go in the evening before, you get the cream applied then you "sleep" in the hospital overnight while it slowly starts to work. I am sure I won't sleep well, but I'm 9 months prego, and wouldn't sleep well at a 5 star hotel either. I'd be awake every 20 minutes to turn like a pig on a spit, or to go pee, or to sit up because I can't breathe... you know the usual "-) According to Ali I won't have to worry about that because she has a very special feeling that my water is going to break tonight, and I will be having the baby. But she had also had that feeling two days ago, so her fortune telling skills are in question.
Hmm... I haven't blogged since September. It's hard to know what to write, because of course so much has happened. I guess that's why I should be writing all along, right? Haha. Oh, well... I have my facebook updates to go on. That's not exactly prime family history material, but better than nothing, right? My last update was,

I've decided Cameron is uniquely qualified to author a book entitled, "1001 things you should never say to your pregnant wife. Ever."

That tells you something doesn't it? Five pregnancies in, and Cameron still hasn't figured out any form of etiquette or decorum, haha. I remember with Truman when I had reached my ultimate fatness level (I maxed out around 210, I think?) He would say things about my size without considering how it would crush my hormonal soul... Like I was trying to walk across the walmart parking lot and people were being so inconsiderate to the poor prego woman, esp. one guy almost pulled out in front of me. Cameron's response was, "You should have let him hit you... that would have taught him." Haha. I can't remember all of them- one of them involved the correlation of me to a moose. I don't know- you get the idea. I was sickest of all with Isaiah, I think, although I had morning sickness with all of them. Cameron's best of all statements came a the height of said sickness when he declared all the sickness was in my head. He really meant it when he said it, and it genuinely pissed me off immeasurably... So after that colossal emotional fracas, it became funny to him. Not really ever so much to me, but that didn't stop him from saying it over and over every time I got nauseous or threw up with subsequent pregnancies. According to Cameron, insensitive pregnancy jokes never get old... I had felt pretty good for the last couple months until a week or so ago. I can tell it's the end, because it's all catching up to me. I am super duper tired. I swear I could sleep all day. And so many foods are making me sick again. Anyway, on one of my heartburny- super- tired days, I had been laying down or napping most of the evening I had already been frustrated I couldn't get the energy to get my normal stuff done... and Cameron in his ever so understanding and kind manner said to me, "Whatever happened to the nesting period, you've been laying down all day?" Haha. Again. So I think I really am going to make him write that book. Then I can at least get something out of his insensitivity... I'm sure it would be a best seller- top of everyone's baby shower wish list. Hee Hee.

Let's go back in order of facebook posts and that will be my way of updating our life. Before that the post was,

I don't know how, but Cameron has 5 kids including our 22month old watching a Brazilian soap opera...

Yes, Cameron is Gay. Haha, I'm getting you back Cameron, for all your insensitive remarks. But it is true, he is addicted to a Brazilian soap opera, pardon, a "novella" called Araguaia. He gets up like at 4 in the morning every day before work, so he can watch it. I can't criticize too much since the facebook entry before that was,

So, of all the ridiculous aspects of the new Rafe Imposter plot on Days, the silliest was all the construction noise they were trying so hard to cover up in the weeks leading up to the switch. Pshaw, as if Stefano Dimera doesn't already have at least one secret prison in the basement of Dimera Mansion.

I've watched days of our lives off and on over the years since I was like in grade school...but I am a girl, hee hee.

The two posts before that were,

Wake me up on the 23, I'm hibernating until the baby is born.

and

Some days the same noise level as normal is just too much, eh?

Just goes to illustrate what I was saying about I'm tired and 'done' with this pregnancy.

That goes back to about the 8th of February, and that is all I can sit tonight, so now I only have five or so months to make up for, Christine. Hope this is better than nothing!

PS Cameron and I just got in a huge fight because he feels like I am trash talking him on our blog, and he is a man that doesn't have to 'take that lying down'... so he will apparently be writing a follow up blog entry trashing me, if you are lucky it will involve some sort of reference to my relationship with my mother, which is always his go-to "below the belt" shot. So you may get lucky and get two blog entries this week, Christine.

Look at me I'm doing a blog entry~! Nothing much new, except that I can wear a pair of shoes, and I can walk. Yay for that. Truman is exploding with words and sounds, it's so much fun. Cori is so grown up, going to pre- school. She is in school almost as long as Isaiah and Ali... well a couple hours less, but longer than kindergarten will be. She has a lot of fun there, and I hope it is really good for her. Isaiah and Ali are back in the groove of things at school. Ali had her first procrastination event last night... we were up until 10:30 finishing an animal pop-up book for science. She is so related to me. (but if she asks, I never put things off until the last minute, k?) I finally met the kids teachers this week. Their back to school night was the week before school, and we were out of town. And I just really didn't want to go into the school on crutches, so I put it off. They are both really nice. It's funny, because Isaiah's teacher is Ali's math teacher, and Isaiah last years teacher is Ali's science teacher- so I know almost all their teachers. I just have to meet a couple more. Their charter school moves them around for different subjects, which I like. In cases like math, it allows them to be grouped into skill levels so they can progress quicker, (or get the help they need if they are not up with their grade level) It makes it much better for kids like mine who get bored if they are not challenged. My kids complain a lot about the dress code, but I just really like certain things about the setup of it all. I feel they are learning a lot more about a larger variety of subjects. Anyway...
Isaiah is on a competition soccer team this year. It's his first year doing comp, so they put him on the "B" team. I think they got off to a rough start, with not enough kids, a coach that really only wanted to coach the "A" team, and a few other problems. They finally got some coaches that want the team, although Isaiah got off to a bad start with them (he was apparently goofing off at practice and leading the other kids to do the same. ) So he hasn't seen as much playing time in the games we are used to. But I think things are turning a corner. I hope. It's so hard to tell with Isaiah. He is very talented and fast, and when he tries- he's good. But when he is discouraged (because he's not playing the position he wants, or their team is losing...) he doesn't try. I keep hoping this is a phase he will outgrow. In any case, he is trying harder, and doing better. So I'm finally starting to feel like the cost and time comp soccer requires will be worth it. He almost scored a goal at the game Monday, and that was awesome!
Ali apparently had a play at school last week that I found out about the day after it happened. I don't think it was a big production meant for parents, but it was fun for her. They did Pocahontas , and Ali played the part of Pocahontas. I remember when she went through her Pocahontas phase. She is still probably more like her than any other disney gal.
Anyway, Truman is trying to destroy the printer while I type, so I better go distract him.
Ok, your turn, Christine.

Before and After

Last year when Isaiah was in 2nd grade, I had to read one of the books he read to make up a test for him (It was too new for the school to have a test on file, and he wanted credit for it.) The books are super popular, the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. I thought it was pretty dang funny, especially the part with that picture above. In the beginning of the book, Greg- the first year middle schooler- tells about his Mom, how she's joined the gym, and bought a whole new workout uniform and gear. His Dad snapped a picture of it the day she bought it all, but then she never went to the gym. Then the one day he forgot his backpack in the car, is the day she decides to go- so she shows up in his class in her spiffy workout gear, holding his backpack- embarrassing him thoroughly. Well that was the only time she went to the gym, and a couple months later the dad gets the photo in the mail. Since the lab sent doubles, he thought he'd be clever, and put them both up on the fridge, one labled, "Before" and one "After." That was so me last summer. When I joined the gym in may or June a few weeks or a month after having Truman, I declared I would not be Greg's Mom. Alas, I was... I think I made it there 3 or 4 times, before deciding naps were much more important. When I made my new goals in January... I didn't tell anyone, and I certainly wasn't going to jinx myself by taking a "Before" picture. But I was really very determined. I just decided... 25 pounds from each of my last kids = 200ish pounds, and I just can't weigh 200 pounds for the rest of my life. Even though I'm like 7 pounds from reaching my original goal, I still feel like I'm not quite there- where I want to be, but at least there is the ability to distinguish between "Before" and "After," right? (Sorry, no "After" Picture yet.)

Tidbits

This is last Saturday at the Hogle Zoo Carousel. We went with some friends to celebrate Ali's birthday. (She's eight- unbelievable!)

The girls in their spring/Easter dresses. Christine... you need some girls.

Here's some of the funny things Cori has said lately...

"Someday I'm going to be a good mom, that doesn't spank children...."
"Mom! You scared my guts out!"
"I want to be a mom just like you, except not just like you, like Cori. I want to be a 'me mom.' "

A month or so ago, Cori was sitting/laying like this in church- she made it almost until the end of sacrament awake. (She said something to me a minute or two before the closing song.) After when I was gathering up our belongings someone nearby was chuckling and pointing at her. I said, "is she asleep?" And when I went on that side of her this is what I saw. It was precious and funny. Everyone got a kick out of her.

On Sunday, which was actually Ali's birthday- after church everyone except Isaiah and I was already in the van to head to Robyn's, when I saw Ali's new white skirt on her floor in her room. I yelled at her from the door to come back and hang it up so it didn't get dirty and ruined. Her Dad tried to plead her case to get a pass on her birthday, but I said no, it's white, come hang it up. By the time Ali had come inside, Isaiah had slipped into Ali's room and hung it up for her. Moments like that are so special to me. I mean, really... The moments when the same kids who are crazy, hyper, silly, naughty, moody, defiant, squabbley, teasey...everything except purely kind- show that deep down, a truly good person is growing inside of them. Those are the moments that make me a truly happy Mom.



The other night, before it turned freezing again (I mean, come on- snow in May? Get on with it, Spring!) The moon was near full, and the evening was warm and clear. I knew Truman would LOVE to be outside, looking at the moon, and the trees, so I took him out for a walk. He did love it. He stared at the trees, and the moon, and the street lights. He happily touched the branches of low trees, and his head followed passing cars. It was a one year old's dream- to get out of the cooped up house. When we were coming back onto our property, a neighbors family was passing our house. We chatted for a little while, and when they went on their way, saying goodbye and waving, Truman waved his fat little hand and said, "Ba. Ba. Ba." Does it ever get old? The wonder of a baby's new accomplishments? I wouldn't know, but I suppose it's like a drug to me, a familiar high that comes every so often when they let go for the first time, and stand unassisted. Or when you see the light in their eyes and you know they understand you. Or when they copy the sound you are making, "Ma, Ma, Ma." Who would ever have know a single uttered syllable, and a hand movement could make me so utterly thrilled.

Disneyland here I (we) come...

I am officially crazy, and have signed up for my first half marathon... I'm not sure if I am more excited, nervous, or just scared. Right now I'm only running just under 3 miles, and so I haven't started a half marathon training schedule. I hope to be at three miles next week and when I get comfortable with that, I guess that's when I'll start it. I want Cameron to run it with me, and if we can get someone to go with us to watch the kids while we run, he probably will. The kids are of course excited. It has nothing to do with Disneyland. They motives are pure, and they just want to go to support their mama in her endeavors. (ha! ;-) ) Anyway, I hope I survive it... I'll write more later I guess!
(BTW, not that I ever posted my intentions or my goals, but at the end of January I made a goal to loose a little over 50 pounds by the end of May, to reach 150 lbs- I weighed between 140 and 150 before kids, and again between Ali and Cori, but gained and didn't lose 25 pounds with each of my last two babies... So the update is I have lost about 45 pounds, with 9 to go to hit 150. Yay, me! I feel like I will probably keep trying to loose another 5-10 after that, because I still have too much belly fat- so I'll have to see if my willpower can hold up. Now that Cameron is back to working 2 jobs, I can't get back to the gym until Truman starts walking- our gym doesn't have a "day care" but a "kids play area" I guess the running training will be a good thing!)

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Kids and Biking

This was a few weeks ago at the Living Planet Aquarium in Sandy or Draper. We met Tamber's family there, and Ali was so happy to see Jessica. The kids all enjoyed it. Cori thought she was old enough to just take off and wander by herself at one point, so I had a heart attack while we all searched for a good 25 minutes until one of the staff finally found her.


After we went to a McDonnalds, where Isaiah took Trumy to the top of his first playplace. It was love hate relationship. He alternated the crying with the laughing all the way up.


After, when it was time to go, Ali attacked Jessica... She is her best friend and Ali did NOT want to leave her!

This is what our car often looks like when we get home from a trip or even just a day at Robyns house. So sweet and innocent when they're sleeping, eh?

When we went to the store a week or two ago, I was dramatically sobbing about how big Isaiah was, and how he used to be the little one that rode in the cute little shopping carts, and now he's so big... so he runs over and hops in with a big grin.

Every time the weather teases us with a warm day, the clouds and snow or cold rain roll back in. this was one of the almost warm days that we were able to to out to a park. Cori and Trumy and I had a nice little picnic at castle park, and we played around for a half hour or so- then it was too cold. I want summer!

Swinging was both their favorite, but Cori also made a cute little friend she ran around with for a while.

We had 3 kids with cavities, cori only had 1- it was her first, and she hated getting it done, even with the meds. Ali had the most, she had 6 0r 7- so they decided it would be easiest to give her a shot for her to sleep, so they could do them all in one day. I don't think we'll ever do that again. I didn't like it at all. Not only was she super stoned and loopy for an hour or two after, she was sick and puking ALL day long. She was miserable.

Trumy is our second little vampire baby. Cori's side top teeth came in first too. I think it's awfully cute- hard to get a good pic. All these pics come from my phone, because it is what I always have with me, but obviously not the best quality.

This is my favorite... Trumes love to look at water in creeks and rivers, and really enjoys robyn's house. Cameron dipped him down so he could touch the water, and he LOVED it. He was so happy... splashing and giggling. Every time Cameron would bring him back up, he would cry to go back down again.



Here's a video, you can kind of hear his giggling between all the splashing!

Trumes had a poo explosion while we were working in Robyn's yard, and after I cleaned him, he happily crawled up the stairs naked to the bath. He loves the stairs so much, he got to the top, went back down, and crawled up again (twice) before continuing on to the bath. Kathy was scandalized.



I am stupid, and forgot on my phone I can't turn it when I'm videoing, so if you want to look at this (poor quality) clip of Cori and Truman going on a wheelbarrow ride, you'll just have to tilt your head.



We are so proud of Isaiah... The kids didn't take gymnastics from November to March, because we just didn't have the money. And 2 weeks after they're back, he is doing his back handsprings, and almost his back whip! By the time I videoed him this day, he was tired, and only landed one on his feet, but he can do it. On Wednsday's lesson- he did a round off 2 back handsprings in a row. It's really something to watch him get the big long body up in the air like that! on the side you can see Ali practicing a little too. She is still getting better and better at her back handsprings, and almost can land her whip and tuck.

---

So when Cameron and I were dating, he took me snowboarding. I'd never been. Not even skiing. But he faithfully promised he'd teach me. We went with a couple of his buddies, and Cam and I headed to the 'bunny slopes.' After 5 or 10 minutes or so, he was bored. He said... "I think you've got the basics, you need to go on a little bigger hill." I looked scared, but he assured me it wouldn't be a big deal. Next thing you know, I'm in the lift with him- headed to the top of the Brighton mountainside. I swear we just kept going up for EVER. I was so scared. How was I possibly going to survive the way down? Well, he helped me off the lift, and we went down the first hill. I fell 15 times probably. He waited at the bottom. Impatiently. I understood- he loves snowboarding. When I finally got down to where he was, I said- "I'm going to fall 1000 times on my way down, whether you're here or not... Why don't you just head down and have fun." He said, "Are you sure? (0.5 second pause) OK, bye!" I had fun still and although I thought I wouldn't survive, I did. He wasn't at the bottom when I finally reached it, so I just got back on the lift and headed up alone again. and again. All day- for hours. He never bothered to check on me, just hung with his buddies all day. A couple guys I rode up with were really nice and cute, they couldn't believe Cameron just ditched me. I should have gone home with them. ;-) But anyway, we all had fun in the end.

My point in telling this story? 10 years later, I finally give in and let Cameron buy me a mountain bike. I've always hated bike riding- I don't know why. But I have been trying to get back in shape, going to the gym every day so my before and after picture don't look the same, right? Cameron thought biking would be a good activity for me, and I finally agreed. So Wednesday Robyn needed our help moving the remains of 3 giant pine trees. I was glad to do it, because Cameron was too lazy to watch Truman so I could go to the gym that morning, and I still had a calorie burn to hit. After a few hours of that, it was about 6pm, and Cameron said-"Let's just go on a "little" bike ride." After my snowboarding story, can you guess where this is heading? Well, he didn't abandon me on a mountain top this time, but that little bike ride? Half way up a mountain, two hours, across the canyon two cities later... yeah. About 15 minutes in, when the trail got so narrow it was crumbling down the 100 yard steep drop off as I rode, I knew I was going to get more than I bargained for. Mud puddles, gravel pits, sandy slopes, huge rocks and holes, up and down up and down...

Cameron snapped this pic of me with his phone on our ride.

But crazy enough... I totally loved it. I guess it's because in the last couple months I've been constantly pushing myself at the gym or wherever I'm getting my workout in... I've learned to actually enjoy the challenge instead of hating it.

So of course Cameron is totally stoked- I told him I had to get a helmet, because I know the chances of me crashing are well above the 50% range! So he went to the bike store today and bought me some awesome accessories for my bike. He wants me to love it, because it's always been one of his favorite activities. All these 10 years I've said to myself I need to just learn to like if for his sake, but just dreaded getting into it, because like I said it was always my least favorite. I would much rather play baseball, basketball, soccer, hike... but biking was always his thing.

Anyway, I'll let you know if I survive the next ride...